Forget About What is Lurking in the Closet, Look at What Has Been Piling Up Under The Rug.

Family secrets are held closely in a dynamic that keeps shame, denial and guilt as primary motivators to keeping quiet.  Family secrets about addictions, abuse and other conditional and unloving behaviors are so deeply woven into family systems that we lose our ability to see the proverbial forest from the trees.  We all intentionally and consciously tell another, “We don’t talk about those things.”  “Oh stop being so dramatic, he is just that way.”  “Don’t cause trouble.” 

It is rampant in our homes, our communities and in our one world family both in this country and outside of this country as well.   A shining example is this election. 

I’m always confounded by the sociological dynamics that exist when that “One” person in a family or at work or any other group is that “One” where all revolves around; that difficult person that we just “deal” with.  So much power is given to someone who causes so much suffering for others.  You have had to deal with them, the Shit Stirrers,  the Instigators,  those who cause intentional drama and we just put up with it.  We tolerate it.  We justify it.  We make excuses for it. 

It runs as far and wide as the neighborhood bully, the relative who baits and needs to be heard at any cost all the way to an abuser.  We bypass them all to not make waves, to not be a target, to just get along.

In this election, we have bypassed what we know is unlikeable and unkind behavior.  We are witnessing direct illegal, unethical, immoral behavior that we have convinced ourselves is ok.  Swept under the rug.

When we disclose to another how we have been affected, abused, neglected, we are shut down, denied, disavowed and shamed and it gets swept under the rug. 

“Well, Uncle Johnny didn’t molest you dear, he is like that with everyone.  He just a touchy kind of guy.  He didn’t mean anything by it.”  More sweeping.

“Stop being so dramatic, it’s not that bad, you’ll survive.”  Keep sweeping.

“She’s not a bully.  You’re just being sensitive.  So suck it up and grow thicker skin.”  More and more sweeping.

“Locker Room talk is all that it is.  Grabbing women without their permission is just something guys do.”  - Sweep

“Trump isn’t so bad, he is just saying those things to get elected.  Once he is in Office, he isn’t going to follow up on his hateful rhetoric.” – Sweep

“His business ties aren’t going to interfere with his Presidency.”  - Sweep

“Russia was involved with hacking America’s election.” – Sweep

Racism, Sexism, Fear Mongering, Bullying, Demagoguery, Ignorance – the list goes on – Swept, Sweep and Still Sweeping.

We are not “Cry Babies” because our candidate lost.  We are so much smarter than that.  We are crying out because others choose not to want to really look at what is under that awful, dirty, filthy rug.